Managing your new life and “journeying through grace”
Re-reading some of the entries in my journals, it’s clear I spent countless hours wondering what I was going to do in my life and what would come next. Everything I had mapped out and was doing in my business had come to a complete halt, like someone putting on the brakes in a massive cosmic effort to get me to pay attention to some new message or direction.
The idea that I’ve been going through this experience and will spend the same energy doing what I’d done before just wasn’t going to make sense. There’s a reason, an opportunity, a gift received and I need to spend time considering what that may represent.
I’ve come through a process that takes an amazing toll on your body and psyche, and as I’m sure many others can agree, while you may look relatively normal and stable, you’re far from it for some time. There are ways this experience impacts you emotionally and changes your perception of the world. To take something that has altered your universe and not honor what can be made from it, would be a disservice. I spend much time still considering what my value to others can be and appreciating the many people, gestures, and moments that have come my way.
Because of this, and because I have been given the opportunity to live and grow and give back, I am guarded about how much I will give out. Not everyone has this opportunity. Not everyone makes it. I did. And I will continue. For this reason, the protection of space and time and how I expend my energy continues to be of greatest importance.
In a recent issue of Yoga magazine, there is an interview with an author and wellness educator, Lalah Delia, who talks about “raising your vibration to find your highest self.” Her emphasis is that the psychology of wellness, our thoughts and intentions, can deeply impact our ability to manage our health and healing. What struck me was an observation she makes about the process of daily intentions and dedication and being mindful of what you do each day. She views this as “journeying in grace”, some days being better than others, but staying dedicated to the idea of a better life practice.
I’d like to think that by keeping my focus clear and getting myself through this second marathon, there will be windows open to other places and ways that I’ll live in this world and contribute. And eventually my inside may match my outside and I’ll have found that new direction and purpose. It’s a journey.
