Hair today, gone tomorrow…

Credit: Deposit Photos

Ok, I’m being a little snarky here, but let’s face it. Once my hair started to come out in bits and pieces, it was time to make the big decision.

Following the first month in the hospital I started to notice the strands on my pillow and in the shower. At first I felt that maybe if I didn’t brush it or blow dry it would stay the same and not all disappear. (wishful thinking) But by the time I was entering my next cycle of treatments it was really starting to come out in bunches.

It’s not a surprise to lose your hair, but it’s still a surprise when you lose your hair! I was feeling very stressed about it thinning and disappearing and really wasn’t up for the wispy look. (Comb-overs don’t work for women either, btw). 🙄. So this left us with the decision to take the next big step.

My amazing and supportive husband got me through the process. We shaved my head one day in the bathroom at home before I went in for the next weekly hospital stay. Honestly it felt liberating to have a clean head and at the same time rather startling. Using some nice oils and lotions kept my skin looking good. This is important since you’d be amazed how much colder you may be without hair and how it protects your scalp daily. (keep a hat on in the sun!)

Your hair is a big part of how you look and how you and others identify with your persona. And it also becomes painfully clear that you’re not “normal” anymore once you have this look about you. Suddenly there is an exterior signature to what you’re going through. Those who have been through this or helped others who have, can tell what’s going on. It’s a knowing look, a nod, a caring gesture that comes your way. I had some of the more interesting interactions with strangers during this time—it filled me with hope and light and a sense of common understanding.

Now, to be honest, I have a nice “melon”. But decided this would not be a look I’d be sporting in public. So my kerchief collection grew as friends gifted me some terrific bandanas and beautiful tie-dyed fabrics. But then I decided to consider a wig since it was rolling into the winter months and I hoped to have a more “regular” look when not wearing a hat. Several businesses were recommended to me by the nursing staff at the hospital and others who have gotten wigs of their own. (ask around, good to get positive recommendations)

Being in RI, I found a local woman who has specialized in wigs for years and was an enormous help in educating me on the decision of synthetic vs natural hair, different styles, colors etc. We tried lots of looks—-and decided I’m definitely not a brunette, long hair, frizzed, or shag look—and in the end I chose two that made me particularly happy. One looks like the hair I used to have and is a short style, the other is longer and a bit fuller and looks like the hair I always wanted! Turns out they’ve been fun to wear, made me feel good about myself, and got me through the stretch before my hair really started to grow in again.

Yes, you can buy good hair! :-)

Once my hair started to slowly come back, it was just a nice peach fuzz (like a puppy), then moved into the “koala bear” look which lasted for quite awhile. And as people predicted, now it’s growing in very curly/wavy and my natural color is an undefined gray-ish. It’s an interesting change and a bit refreshing not to run out for haircuts and color every four weeks! I’m embracing the color and texture and found some fabulous Italian hair products that enhance the curl and makes it seem fuller so I found a way to have fun with this for awhile.

The hairless days were strange to say the least, but what follows is the feeling that you get to start over and be new again. It’s the gift that comes with the struggle, so I’m embracing the simplicity that comes with being low maintenance for awhile.

If you’re experiencing the same, take advantage of the opportunity to try a new signature look. Post your pics or questions to me if you’ve just started down this road, its not the hardest part of the process but can be the least difficult or troubling thing you address during your healing.

And if you get the pink wig, please let me know! ;-)

I call this the “koala” look!