The highs and lows of the journey
It was a weekly scheduled visit today at the Cancer Center, and the start of a new cycle, so I knew I’d be here for a bit longer than usual. Given that we’re between Christmas and New Year’s, the place was a bit chaotic and they squeezed in as many people as possible.
My usual pod was tied up so I was located in a room near the back in a shared space with another patient. We had a curtain in between for “privacy”. As we sat in our big cushy recliner chairs, a conversation started between us and the nurse attending to both of us. It was a first for me to be in close proximity with another patient and have a chance to talk to someone for the time we were there.
The conversation bounced around as we agreed on the annoyance of the pump alarms, the delightful bags of chemo they hang in a black bag to avoid light (and this goes into our bodies?!), what we thought about the overnight visits in the hospital—warm blankets were nice but only gets you so far. How strange this journey is…
We had a good laugh about hair loss and the charming comb-over effect, glad to have eyebrows and lashes again. I shared my wig person with her and think she’ll look into getting one if for no other reason than to feel a bit more normal looking. And of course we talked about dry skin—that’s a topic that has endless possibilities!
I usually kid and ask “so what are you in for?” She shared the name of her cancer and that it was quite rare. Something she was only just diagnosed for in the spring. Pretty aggressive. She told me it’s terminal.
She said it with such honesty and practicality. I’m not sure I’d have done the same if it were me but you just don’t know until you’re in that position. She’s pursuing the treatments to put this off as long as possible but knows there is a timeline.
We talked more about the treatments and she asked about mine. My test results came back positively today and she was genuinely pleased to hear it. They brought us lunch and coffee and we agreed about how terrible the food was as a patient, , shared info on the things we ate to keep us going, and how we missed having a good cocktail most of the time.
My appointment ended sooner than hers and we agreed to look for one another on the next visit. I’ll try to keep track of where she is and when she’s in the Center.
I hope to see her again. I hope she has a great New Year’s Eve and can enjoy her kids and a glass of champagne. I hope they’re wrong about her diagnosis, but I’ve learned they generally are not. So I’m sending positive white light her way and will think about her as we turn into a new year. Glad I could be there that day and glad to have had that conversation.
