So much for humility…

Now and then I’m reminded about how once you enter the world of medicine and hospitalization, you need to leave your dignity at the door.

I was talking with my brother recently (who is a nurse) about the frequent discussions that would normally be considered of a personal nature that take place on the job. We had a good laugh over the total lack of privacy that becomes the norm once you’re in the hospital system and things you’d never talk about with most people.

For example, my nurses were accustomed to measuring the volume of pee produced each day and keeping track in my records, and inevitably asking if I’d had a “productive day”. (“Did you do boom-boom today?”—usually that comes from the younger nurses who have little kids at home). I appreciate their diligence and we agreed that if I ever saw them in a bar or social setting, I’d be delighted to buy them a drink and we would pretend this conversation hadn’t happened!

Or the other charming experience of needing a biopsy. Any biopsy. Depending on where it’s happening, you may have some modesty left afterward or not. A lumbar puncture offers everyone a great perspective of your bottom side with a room full of people looking on, and you have to hope you put on some nice underwear that morning. A chest biopsy leaves you open to any form of partial undress but since the doctors are so eager to make this go smoothly, I sincerely doubt they’re paying any attention to all the “excess” in the way.

Early on in my visits, a gland became swollen along the top of my thigh which is an immediate concern (as there should be when you have lymphoma) and the decision to biopsy put everyone into high gear. There were two doctors doing the procedure plus an attendant. Lots of needles, pushing around in your “personal space”, followed by looking and discussion. You just have to not pay attention and hope they don’t ask you many questions. As the weeks proceeded and nothing came of all the testing, there was still a variety of specialists, interns and doctors that would show up and want to check and touch the area, asking the same questions yet again. Being thorough is a good thing, but it really got old to have all these strangers looking at and touching my hoo-ha area. My brother calls it “inconvenient touching”. 😁 I think they should have bought me a drink at least!

Of the garden variety embarassments, hospital gowns offer nothing for modesty either. I quickly dispensed with those ugly things and decided to wear my own leggings, t-shirts and sweatshirts which were warmer and more comfortable, plus they covered all the bits and pieces. The hospital is a cold place and the draft of a gown that gapped open wasn’t very appealing.

My best advice from all this is if you need to spend time in the hospital system, just take a deep breath and turn yourself over to the process. Keeping in mind that these are people just like you but they have a different focus about what needs to be repaired, organized and fixed in their jobs. So its better to go with the flow and save the modesty for another time.

(Check out my previous post “What can I do to help?” for suggestions on what can make visits more physically comfortable—helpful for both men and women)