Bang that gong—let’s celebrate!
It occurred to me this week that I had come full circle and hit a major milestone.
A year ago on November 2nd I finished the very last day of treatments and the very last day of hospital visits. It was round 8—the final session of the CVAD process. I remember having trepidation as we started this visit hoping that all would go smoothly and this part would really be over. When I read my notes again, there are lots of references to lovely things like sodium bicarbonate, methrotrexate, cyterabine, steroids, intrafecal chemo (yup, that’s a lumbar puncture), infusions of red blood and platelets, sleeping, sleeping, and lots of peeing.
Things moved along pretty well despite my having to wait an extra day for the numbers to get low enough following the methotrexate. And then another day of delay when I suddenly ran a fever. Such a random thing to happen and of course it held me up being released on time. I admit to getting a little weepy with the doctor when she said they may keep me for another overnight to be sure about the fever. I was done. More than done, I felt like I’d carried that large rock up the mountain and did what I needed to. So c’mon body, it’s time to go home!
Thankfully that’s what happened. the fever broke, my numbers leveled, and they started processing me to head out the door.
But first, there was the gong!
The tradition is that whenever someone is finished with treatments and leaving the oncology floor for the last time, they have a gong in the nurses station and everyone gets together while the patient bangs it—-as hard and loud as possible! It’s really a liberating feeling and we did this a few times since a room full of doctors nearby heard it and came over to watch. “Whack that thing again!”
As the patient, you’re so happy and relieved. And the nurses are just as thrilled to have one more success in their day. I’ve always felt that the angels were on my side, pushing for good outcomes and ready to chalk up another success.
So here we are, one year later having come full circle to the very week when time shifted again, when I was handed my pass and sent off to regain my sense of self. I’m outdoors walking in the sun and rain, digging in the gardens, eating well, seeing people I missed and slowly growing back my hair. 🙄. There is great relief that when I look in the mirror, it’s my face looking back at me. The familiar and the ordinary feel pretty good these days.
True power is living the realization that you are your own hero, healer, and leader. —Yung Pueblo
The hard working nurses on my floor!
